Perhaps you’ve heard it through the grapevine, or it just falls on deaf ears, maybe you stand out like a soar thumb or get charged an arm an a leg, whatever the case in true Lucky Clover fashion I present a montage of ready made phrases that are a cog in the conversation machine. If a picture is worth a thousand words then how many words dare I ask are needed to paint one picture? I highly doubt that I can cover all of the cliché and not so cliché phrases of popular and not so popular culture in one fell swoop but I can sure as hell try.

So let’s get down to brass tactics even if you weren’t born with a silver spoon, wear the heavy crown or get caught red handed when you bite the hand that feeds. The lexicon of American speech is quite complex. I’ll be frank, lets be honest and correct me if I’m wrong but if it wasn’t for the cleverly weaved little phrases that we are so accustomed to using; a majority of our conversations would lack that certain I don’t know what and fall flat on their backs. I have taken the liberty of cataloging a mere fraction of these so called ready made conversation inserts and have discovered that there is an endless supply at our disposal.

What’s good for the gander might be good for the goose if birds of a feather flock together when you sing like a canary, talk like a stool pidgin and are drawn like a moth to a flame. Do you chew like a cow, are you blind as a bat, stubborn as a mule, light as a feather, gentle as a lamb, won’t hurt a fly, and act like an ass?

I ask that you don’t get all up in arms and get you panties in a bunch if I you give you chapter and verse from pillar to post hand over fist. Now wasn’t that a mouthful? What can I say; I aim to please even when I have too much on my plate yet so hungry I can eat a horse.

Yes I have money saved for a rainy day, and once in a blue moon I run into some rotten luck and realize that it aint over ‘til the fat lady sings. So whether it’s a catch 22, a double edged soar, a slippery slop, a penny for my thoughts or it’s me putting my two cents in, I’ve realized that right off the bat I seem to get off on the wrong foot, wake up on the wrong side of the bed, put my money where my mouth is and end up with my foot in my mouth more often then not.

And when I have parties the more the merrier, come one come all and bring your own beer. Sometimes yes I do get what I paid for, I don’t knock it ‘til I try it, if I’m a beggar I can’t be a chooser and yes it is finders keepers. And when I’m stressed out I run around like a chicken with my head cut off, and must admit that I am up to my wits with every rule of thumb on a five finger discount when I go through something with a fine toothed comb. I’ve been under the weather, been stabbed in the back, turned the other cheek, and cried a river once upon a time. I’ve been pissed off, hung out to dry, and left high and dry on more than one occasion.

On some mornings I wake up and smell the coffee, play it by ear, hit it right on the nose, take an eye for an eye and that’s as certain as death and taxes. I’ve fallen head over heels, I’ve had things fall right onto my lap, I’ve fallen out of the loop and I’ve been plugged into the social pipeline while blinded by the light. I’ve come full circle and back to square one all in a blink of an eye.

I’ve been through trial and error, have had my kindness mistaken for weakness, closed chapters in my book and moved on with my life. I’ve given an inch and taken a foot, I’ve wreaked my brain, I’ve boggled my mind, I’ve been as sick as a dog, sat on my high horse, been placed on a pedestal and have seen a straw or two break a camel’s back.

Well I presume enough is enough and you catch my drift, the next time you exercise your gift of gab remember that first and foremost its already been done and its most likely been said. Ten-four I’m over and out just remember to always ask when in doubt.

By: Lucky Clover