Surfing. It's just so darn romantic. Long haired, gorgeous boys perch meditatively on their boards, reading the open sea like a foreign language. The waiting, the dependence on timing, the rush of elated adrenaline- the whole process is a lot like falling in love. Even the part when you get knocked off, mauled, and half-drowned- that's like the bad parts of love.

So many people seem dying to try this uber-cool sport. So we're giving you a free class. Welcome to Surfing 101...

Step 1: Choose your weapon

Get the right equipment, or rent it. While there are lots of varieties out there, you will basically be choosing between a longboard or a shortboard. It's usually recommended that beginners start with a longboard, as the larger surface area tends to give you more opportunity to catch a wave. I'd recommend a wetsuit too, even if it's warm, to increase the time you can spend in the water and, at the very least, protect you from sand rash.

Step 2: Mount your weapon

Proper body placement is essential for ease and speed when paddling through the water. Your body should be as centered as possible. Not too far forward so that your front tip dips below the water (called ‘pearling') but not too far backward that you are pushing water with your board. You want to be as parallel to the water as possible. When correctly positioned, you should glide through the water easily.

Step 3: Paddling

This is the foundation of catching a wave, as you need to get moving as close to the speed of the wave as humanly possible in order to catch it. Alternate long, smooth strokes with each arm. Your hand should enter the water smoothly and move in rounded, circular strokes carried through to the finish- much like in swimming.

Step 4: Catching your prey

The prey is that big, beautiful wave. Well, in the beginning it's that fluffy whitewater, but you'll get there. Starting out in the whitewater allows you to get a feel for reading waves, feeling how they break, and practice popping up. Begin by lining your body-centered on the board- up perpendicular to the oncoming wave, facing the shore. As the wave comes up behind you, begin your sprint: eight to nine of your deepest, fastest strokes. Stay perpendicular and if your timing is right and the wave is solid enough, you'll be smoothly lifted and carried forward.

Step 5: Get up! Get up!

Once you've practiced timing and riding the whitewater on your stomach for a bit, it's time to stand up. As you catch the wave, you need to grab both sides of the board- hands back by the ribcage, as if you were about to do a push-up. Leave your knees down, but bring your shoulders up until your elbows lock. Then, lift your hips as high as you can with all your stomach and leg strength and get your feet underneath you to the middle of the board.

Step 6: Ride it

Once you stand up, you should be standing sideways, one foot in front of the other. Crouch as wide and low as possible. Your front foot should be toward the center, your back foot toward the back. Keep your hips centered over your feet, your upper body over your hips and apply more weight with either foot to keep the board flat. The longer you keep the board flat, the further you'll go.

Once you're consistently standing up in the whitewater, go ahead and graduate yourself to the bigger waves- in increments and over time. The ocean will tell you if you're moving too fast... trust me. It's kind of like that really beautiful girl that punches you in the face when you've gone too far with a pick-up line. Pretty, but can kick your butt in heart beat.

Story by: Alyssa Lloyd