If you have eyes, you’ve had tired eyes. And if you read, you’ve read about how you’re supposed to put cucumbers on them.

Now really, folks. Stop and think about what kind of jokester could have started this beauty rumor. Are we to blindly follow this advice? March to our refrigerators upon waking with puffy eyes, whip out a cold cucumber, slice it, and put it on our face?

While I do appreciate the utter absurdity of this whole scenario and would love nothing more than to see you all getting your vegetable faces on, I just have to raise my nerdy voice of reason for one second.

Before I slap a cold salad component on my mug, I need to know WHY…

So I did a little research on cucumbers. Who knew the cucumber was so misunderstood? Not only is it technically a fruit, but some jerk back in the 1600’s gave it a bad rap, saying it was ‘fit only for consumption by cows.’ Geez. Just about the only thing that anyone got right is that yes, we should put them on our eyes.

Why? Well, first of all, the cucumber has two heavy hitting compounds hiding under its’ skin: Ascorbic acid (Vitamin C) and Caffeic acid. Both of these help soothe skin irritations, reduce swelling, and prevent water retention. In other words, Viola! No more puffy eyes!

Turns out this veggie is a complexion godsend in general. Its incredibly high water content provides natural key hydration which is essential for healthy skin, while it’s Vitamin E reserves offer stellar anti-aging benefits. The cucumber also has a whole lot of something called silica, which is essential for healthy connective tissue - muscles, tendons, cartilage, ligaments- all that good stuff that holds up our skin.

So go ahead, slap those slices on. I’ll be right there with you.