Dear women of L.A.:

I need to inform you of something, you are beautiful, all of you! This is not some sort of fabrication. Day in and day out I see women at the grocery store, on the freeway, walking on the street that make me want to go lesbian for the day. But I have a slight problem: you don't believe it. So here are a few tips from me to you on how you can view yourself as I view you:

1. Spend a lot more time naked. It's hot out, it shouldn't be a problem. When you are naked don't spend time looking at the mirror focusing on what you want to change. Instead, walk around and imagine all the outrageously amazing things your body has done for you over the course of the years. It has taken you everywhere you have ever gone, it has climbed mountains, it has made men gawk (yes even you), it has worn stilettos and sneakers. So maybe you should appreciate it a little bit more.

1. Imagine that every single vertebrae in your spine is something you have accomplished, some obstacle you have overcome or someone who has loved you beyond measure. When you walk straight and tall with this knowledge you honor yourself and all of those who have helped you along the way, and there are few things sexier than a spine that is stacked piece by piece by solid confidence.

1. Your pumps are fierce, your hair is perfect, and your body is off the charts. You haven't eaten a carb in weeks, people know your name at the gym, and you know what products are coming out before the girls at the MAC counter do, but when was the last time you snorted from laughing so hard? When was the last time you had ice cream for breakfast just because you could? Do it! There is someone out there that will love you through a brick wall, and trust me they don't care what size your $198 jeans are.

I have a bitter truth to tell you: Everybody else is too preoccupied with themselves be focusing on you. So be silly, laugh loudly, and drop all of those horribly heavy weights that your ego has been making you carry around.

I want you to try this out for a day. Don't look in the mirror. Know in your heart of hearts that you are sensational, and be extravagant to your soul! If you don't notice a dramatic change in others perceptions of you in one day, well then my next article will tell you the top five best places to get botox. But I must warn you, I've been wrong maybe three times in my life and I don't believe this is one of them!