If I'm to choose a pair of shoes to wear on a Saturday morning, / In Hoxton Square in but underwear or gala event without warning; / To wear down the street, kicking my feet, singing my song with a call / Looking my smartest, I'm wearing an artist, by the name of Andy Warhol.

Royal Elastics, those cobblers fantastic, cobbled these shoes of Andy. / Made with silk screen, blues and pale tangerine, I look the 21^st Century dandy. / With photobooth pics of Edie Sedgwick, they come in sneaker or thong, / With Jackie Onassis and Andy's dark glasses: all designed by Mark Sydavong.

On April the Third they began spreading the word at their flagship, RoyalOnMain. / They threw a big party, ‘twas all a bit arty, a mixture of feet and champagne. / Michael Hermann was there, amidst the fanfare, to help launch this newest creation; / From New York he flew in, all for the Shoe-In, as License Director at Warhol Foundation.

To Mr. Hermann I query to what is his theory, why Warhol's loved from Maine to South Pole / Mr. Hermann's reply was that he couldn't deny that "Pop art is for every soul." / To Sydavong I inquired to what he aspired: to make shoes or a work of art? / Said he, "A little bit of both," spoken as an oath, a message that would please Andy's heart.

Now, Converse are quite nice and an affordable price, but worn by the bourgeoisie. / Revolt! - don't conform - to the typical norm and wear Warhols on each tootsie. / To Salvatore Ferragamo I often say "Ti amo," but he doesn't inspire me to rhyme. / No, the Warhols, it seems, are the shoes of my dreams, with patterns that are simply divine.

I want every pair more than I want to breath air, whether made for a he or a she, / I'll wear them to bed, I'll wear them instead of taking my afternoon tea. / I'll wear them to soirees, I'll don them at cafes; the crowds will always be delighted. / I'll be the belle of the ball, in my Andy Warhols, and that's why I'm terribly excited...

Royal Elastics - www.royalelastics.com

RoyalOnMain - 2427 Main Street, Santa Monica, CA 90405; www.royalonmain.com

Andy Warhol photographs © The Andy Warhol Foundation for the Visual Arts, Inc.; shoe photographs courtesy of Royal Elastics; additional photographs by Colin Young-Wolff (www.colinyoung-wolff.com)

If you prefer to read an article written in prose read: I AM A HORRIBLE PERSON, AND SO IS PARIS HILTON