Wow. Nice shoulder pads. Have fun at football practice! Padding your bra is one thing, but your shoulders? You need to take it down a notch, Joe Montana. Ladies, it's not the size of your shoulders, it's how you use them. Okay - that doesn't make any sense. What I mean to say is that your broad shoulders are making you look like a security threat. We're at code orange here.

Joan Collins got rid of her shoulder pads a long time ago, and you need to do the same. Drop the velcro and the Dynasty Complete Series DVD and enter the 21st Century already. In the words of Jay-Z, a man who really knows how to rock-e-feller, go and brush your shoulders off.

Story by Raegan Thurlow.

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