Your heart pounds, palms become increasingly moist; you have trouble forming words let alone sentences. "Do I like dry wine? How can something wet be dry? Do I like sour? Damn, what do I like," you think to yourself as you rehearse your impending wine conversation in your head. Nothing can be more frightening than trying to buy or order wine.

Sommeliers stand stoic, covered in pins and attitude, dropping lists longer than Gene Simmons's youthful escapades. All the while fearful, you might order the one wine on the list that the Somme put there to ridicule whoever was naïve enough to order it. And not to mention the beady, judging, totally discriminating eye of the wine store sales person, scoffing at your every flub. "Did you hear what he said" they mockingly jest "he said sour!"

Well I'll have you know, most of this is not true. Wine professionals are just that, pros. They love talking, reading, smelling and best of all, drinking wine. That's why they do what they do. First, learn a little. Don't get me wrong, if you love it, learn as much as possible. But if you don't want to dedicate decades of study and more money than Christian Bale's next Batman paycheck, then learn the basics. Buy a book. I purchased "Wine for Dummies" and it did wonders. I learned enough from this book to change the way I talked, tasted and thought about wine. Second, don't be afraid to be wrong. When a wine person corrects you its not to prove that you know nothing (at least not all the time) it's to find a common language. It's hard to grasp, but sales people understand your palate and know what you're trying to say better than you. There are industry standard words; sweet does mean something specific. Another great way to learn is to take a class. There are tons of classes available in Los Angeles ranging from total novice to the ultra hip and geeky.

Developing a relationship with a sales person at your local wine store or the wine steward at your favorite restaurant is also a very good learning tool. Pick out wine together, remark on the things that you've liked and disliked. The fear of the unknowing can scare anyone. Wine is no exception. Learn, listen and talk about it. Realize that we all start at the same point, and people in the wine industry once drank a wine and declared it too sweet, and were totally and absolutely wrong.

The Wine House

2311 Cotner Ave., Los Angeles CA 90064 (310) 475-7816

This is a great place to shop and take classes. Look for a class with Jamie or JB, old pros that destroy everything you thought an "old pro" was.

Bacaro LA

2308 S. Union Ave., Los Angeles, CA 90007 (213) 748-7205

This wine bar is in an unpretentious part of town, owned by unpretentious people. There are lots of unusual wines, and a very friendly staff.

Bastide

8475 Melrose Pl., Los Angeles, CA 90069 (323) 651-5950

Yes I know it can be expensive, but Pieter Verheyde, the sommelier is one of the friendliest in town. Always willing to educate, and never afraid to push boundaries.